Zi 28th .

I think it's gone too far now . Ive been feeling empty for long enough. All I want is to be able to forget you. To block you from my thoughts, my dreams, myself. Because I am immensely tired of thinking about you all the time. I'm exhausted of not being able to be with other guys because you're always in the back of my mind which is not even acceptable and quite stupid - I'm not even with you anymore. But surely this has to stop sometime ? I can't stop clinging on this hope forever. The thing is . . I don't know if I want to let go of my hopes.

Baby you the best .

I've been really cold lately - physically and emotionally. I have been pretty great myself, it's just that I have thought about things and I realized that I am happy without you now. I have forgotten about you. I don't think about you the way I used to reminisce about all the memories we had and YET, if I were to pick someone right now;it would still be you. Such a huge disappointment in my part.


You're tied down and I know, you're happy with her. Of course you are, it only took her a month to make you ask her to be your girl . And me ? It took me five months and nothing happened. It clearly shows how bad I am with your species. Sigh.
I know it's not really that bad that I have been alone and unattached for a year and so now. My point is.. it's difficult to find a person that would love you and treat you like you're the best they ever had. I wanna be that someone. Baby you da you da best. >< " Anyways, I'm being very superficial right now, and not putting any effort to make this blog a little descent.




Agui, I miss you so much. I just need to talk to you, that's all. Just talk. All you really need to do is listen and just give me a long hug afterwards.

If ever your in my arms again. .

BUT ANYWAYS, let's talk about my day. Haha .

Tash,Brian, and I went to downtown and ate at Thai Tai ! YUUS , omg. We had vermicelli, Vietnamese sub, and Red Bean Explosion. It's like a mixture of ice cream, red bean, other Asian stuff, and most importantly, Halo-Halo ! ^^

peace,love, jampac

I crave TFC.

Katorse . <3>

This is the main reason why I am so stoke to go home everyday. Wow, I'm such a loser. But my fobbishness just can't get enough . Haha. It pretty much makes my heart melt whenever I see Enchong Dee. (: If he ever visits 403, there's no way I'm gonna miss it.

As she turns seventeen .

I woke up at approximately 9:20 in the morning today. I had to take bus to work because my dad is getting mad at me for the virus he downloaded on our computer. He's the kind of person who would NEVER accept that it's his fault. He was blaming me for not going home early enough so "the incident " of downloading the virus would have not occured. Cmaan , I barely go out on Fridays because you purposely come to my school uber early just so you could get hold of me for the whole day. I really have no issues with my family spending time with me, but the constant complains of my every other week Friday hangages is just an ass move.

Anyway , later on that day . . I went to Trisha's house to celebrate her 17th birthday. Tash, Brian, Aj, Kuya Vince, and Kenji were there as well . I guess I liked the fact it was just us. It's the bonding that I was looking for anyway and I really had to get out of the house. Because, I've been rebooting . . and rebooting...and REBOOTING my computer. u_u .




Oh goodness, accepted 16 random friend requests on Facebook . :\ I dont think I made the right decision . Still got more. .

Find someone who wouldn't mind seeing someone better than you but still falls in love with YOU all over again .

Im tired and very lazy right now and I should be doing my Chemistry, English, and Cosmetology homework right now, but I decided to take a nap after writing this little bloggie of mine. Let's go straight to the point !

( Im showing off my fob skills, yeeees (: )
isa : I regret taking English class with you. I am very lonely in that class.
dalawa : Next year, I will not take classes with any of my close friends.
tatlo : I need to lose some damn weight and get in shape.
four : All I really want is to see you, thats all .
five : Very sick and tired of my mother's yelling voice . I love her so much .

Notice the sudden change of language with the counting, I did not notice till now . I am very impatient and lazy right now, so too bad :P I'm not gonna change it.

And I found this at Tumblr . It made me think . . that maybe Nursing is NOT for me.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”

Buhbye . love love love, jammee pacua.

The day after turkey,

October 14th , after being out of school for a week. I is back . Today has to be one of the most frustrating days of my grade eleven life. Yes yes, I am in grade eleven. And let me tell you, I am not liking this year at all . I despise slack teachers . As they slack, I slack . I am the type of student that depends on a teacher. I fully depend on them. So, as of right now. . I am not doing so well in this course and I am very devastated as hell.
So today, we were in the library. My English teacher was complaining about how students should be focusing on their essay writing. That we are not grade 11s anymore. Haha, I was about to make a l0ud comment and say : "But we are in grade 11, Miss" .It clearly didn't process in my brain that I'm with grade 12s. I miss Ela20 . I miss the fast and difficult way of learning. I miss Crombie. I now appreciate the red ink or whatever color she chose that day to use, to scribble on my essays.

In Cosmetogy class, I started working on my increased-layer haircut. Surprisingly enough, it is much easier than braiding a tangly, 10 year-old maniquin hair, which by the way smells like a mixture of urine and instant noodles. Not so cute right ? (: haha .

I spent my third period spare chopping more urine-smelling maniquin hair. It was a Bob cut this time. It was actually harder than the increased-layer. This is by the way the haircut I missed while I was coughing and sniffling in my bed a week ago . ): It was a mistake for wearing heels in Cosmo. The purpose of wearing heels today ? I brought them so I would not have the need of steppping on a stool because I am still too short to reach the hair I am working on. Well, I was thinking to myself, there are a handful of Asian girls in our class who are vertical challenged like me. . and I happened to own some pair of heels. So why not dont I use this advantage and use them ? Obviously, I thought wrong.

Finally, last period. Chemistry 20 AP. This is the class of 10 Asian kids and 2 Caucasians - Which I love. We learned about the Combined law today . ( < - - I am pretty sure I am missing a word for this one ) I was getting a little upset with my calculator . As it would not let me see my calculations, and top off that . . it gives me the wrong answers. My Chem teacher advised me to kindly ask Mr. N ( let's call him that , for I don't remember his name ) to fix my calculator . So I went hunting for him, but no luck. He was not in the building , Im guessing ):
At the end of class, we are assigned to finished 10 of the Mathematical questions . . She said it would make her really happy if we finished it. So I will do it because it will make ME happy as well. (:

Since I had a long day, I decided I should ask my father to pick me up. So, I called my mom and asked when is my dad getting off from work, she tells 4:30 . I then told myself, I should just wait since it's pretty much a half an hour wait. As I waited until 4:35. I got impatient and called my dad.

. . . . He tells me he gets off at 5:30 and suggest I should take the bus. I was angry and just took off . All I wanted was to picked up, so I would not have to be outside in this nasty weather of Calgary- which hasn't even reached its worst peak yet.


So there you have it . A not-so summarized blog of my day. haha .

You hear me baby ?

And I am stuck with a person that doesn't even know I still exist .

Opened

For the stupidity of the nights we’ve believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we’d have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don’t think that they deserve more, because they’ve been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.